I've been preaching at a few different churches this summer and each one asks me for a short bio so that information can be put in the bulletin or used as an introduction.
I hate writing these things because they either make me sound like I'm bragging or make me sound incredibly dull. There is no middle ground.
So when Derek Porter of Villa Rica First United Methodist Church asked me for a bio and told me I could make stuff up, I took him literally. I did put some accurate items in the bio but I decided to spice it up a bit. Perhaps if they are listening at the beginning, they'll listen through a longer percentage of the sermon than normal.
Here's what I gave them. Enjoy!
"Rev. Shannon Karafanda is an Ordained Deacon in the United Methodist Church with a focus on family ministries. She grew up in Morrow, Georgia and worked as a computer programmer before pursuing her call to ministry in 1999. Shannon is a gifted preacher. Her mother is quoted by saying, “Shannon is one of the best preachers in all of Georgia – most likely the world.”
Her wit and bravery allowed her to lead her classmates at Candler School of Theology by obtaining the role of prefect in the house of Gryffindor. This position allowed her to travel the world enjoying the finest cuisine that is offered. She’s eaten at Chez Ronald McDonald in over three countries and just this summer went on an extensive tour of the east coast restaurants visiting the same chain of restaurants in five states.
Shannon lives with he-who-shall-not-be-named (her husband) and her three children and an overly affectionate black lab in Peachtree City, GA. She is currently on transitional leave so she spends most of her days ignoring the mess her kids have made, deciding if she should put on actual clothes vs her pjs or a swimsuit, and checking facebook constantly just to prove to herself that most people aren’t that exciting either.
So please give a warm welcome to Rev. Shannon Karafanda."
Until Everyone Hears,